"Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice"

Found this interesting poem today. This could apply to presidents of major world powers, I think.

"Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice"

There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologize publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.

Ogden Nash

April Showers

When it rains, it pours! This is such a busy time of year. We jump from one activity to another without seeming to stop for a breather, much like the rains we've been experiencing.
Drip! Drip! Drip! We put our house back on the market in March and much to my surprise the realtor called April 8 to ask if someone could come through to look at it the next day. Of course, when she called I was getting everyone done with school work, preparing supper, taking care of one house guest, wrapping presents for Heather's birthday on Thursday, getting ready for Awana in less than 2 hours and attempting to clean the house for Easter weekend company. What could I say but "Yes?"
Pitter! Patter! Thursday morning, I worked so hard to get everything perfect because house hunters look everywhere... in closets, drawers, cupboards, garages, you name it. I had the car in the driveway, and the kids outside as I finished all the last minute jobs when the people arrived. I asked them to excuse me as I put away the vacuum and rinsed out the bathroom sink and told them we would get out of their way. But they started asking questions for which only I had the answers, so we stayed throughout their visit. I know that is not recommended, but what else could we do? After they left, we had to rearrange to make space for our overnighters. This entails moving Heather out of her room and into the boys' room.
Friday, the cousins came. Heather asked that we save her birthday cake from the day before so she could have a real celebration with them. For the most part, the day was great, except for one minor flaw. Thunder and lightning! We got a postcard in the mail from the sheriff notifying us that a child molester has moved into our area. I attached it to the fridge and decided to think about it later.
The sun peeks through the clouds! We enjoyed the rest of our weekend, spending time with family in Tiffin and celebrating Easter at church. The childrens' choir and adult choir and ensemble performed for the Resurrection services. The many practices for those were like the drops the come slowly before the real rain gets started.
Drip! Drip! Drip! Not again! Monday, the realtor calls with the news that the people would like to look at the house again. That afternoon. Ahhh! I still haven't gotten everything cleaned up from the weekend, but we rush around and pull out of the driveway as they get out of their cars to come in. When we return, we learn that they have made an offer. Hooray!
Is that the sun behind those clouds? Tuesday, we go to the realtor's office to sign the papers. In their paperwork, there is a curious note. They want to know if we have had any notifications about sexual predators in the area. We have to answer honestly. We give the information that we have been given and make our counter offer.
Wednesday, the realtor calls again. There is good news and bad news. They thought our offer was perfectly fair and would love to accept it but they have to decline because they checked with the sheriff's office about the predator. Whoosh! The wind blows our umbrella inside out! There apparently are two predators. Whoever checked for them told them that the one lived only 2 blocks from this house. They don't even have kids living at home, yet they felt they had to say no. What about us? We have 3 kids living here. I checked the addresses out myself. The closest one is actually .5 miles away and other is at least 2 miles away.
Anyway...we are still trying to get all that settled. I don't know if there is a place you can live in Ohio where there isn't someone dangerous living in the vicinity. Not only that, who is to say one wouldn't move in after you did? I don't know if they will change their minds.
It is still raining...literally and figuratively. This week we are having a series of revival meetings at church and Friday is our home school group puppet show at Wood Lane School. I can't wait for the May Flowers!

Foolish Quotes

For April Fool's Day, I googled quotes with the word fool. (Quotes "by" fools may have been interesting,too. Maybe next year.) Here are some wise words about foolishness, and some not necessarily wise, just fun. Some are quite timely to the days in which we live.

Pierre Gallois: "If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no one dares criticize it." (This applies to the media, as well.)

Unknown: "Fools rush in where fools have been before." (deja vu)

Chinese Proverb: "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."

Solomon Short: "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." (and the web)

Plato: "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."

Frank Dane: "Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."

Joseph Roux: "A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool." (I love this one.)

Anatole France: "If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

P. J. O'Rourke: "A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them."

Josh Billings: "The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way."

Horace: "Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It's good to be silly at the right moment." ("A little nonsense now and then is relished by the best of men." ~Louis Untermeyer, I think)

Charles Haddon Spurgeon: "Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: "Whenever I hear people talking about "liberal ideas," I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions."

Cato the Elder: "Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise."

Charles Simmons: "Ridicule is the first and last argument of fools."

Hunter S. Thompson: "No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."

of High Heels and Shampoo

I just found these fun cartoons at Parade.com/cartoons and thought I would share them. I don't know the proper way to give credit as it is due to the artists, but...

Dave Coverly

Gary McCoy

Dewey's Catechism (get your cup o' coffee and plan to stay a while, this one's long)

Our home school group visited a local public library today to learn about what the library has to offer and how it is organized. The library manager talked to the kids briefly and gave them a "tour" of the library; "This shelf holds our biographies and this shelf is the inspirational fiction. Yada, yada, yada..." My children were rather bored with this exercise, and I can't say I blame them. I had higher hopes myself.

The librarian explained how to find materials quickly and gave a brief history of the Dewey Decimal System to which I had not heretofore been exposed, despite being a graduate of public school and an English major from an accredited liberal arts college with the emphasis on liberal. She asserted that Mr. Dewey had arranged his entire system from the viewpoint of a caveman.

What, you say? Yes, that's what the lady said. Naturally, I found this to be rather disturbing and determined to check up on this theory for myself.

At home, I googled old Mr. Dewey and found that he was a man whose phone number would not have been in my speed dial. I did find it interesting, however, that he is credited with having invented hanging files. Next, I googled Dewey and caveman together...this led to a long list of sites waiting to tell the following: (For sake of brevity, I have cut a bit of it.)

Dewey's Caveman
The Dewey Decimal System - Non-Fiction Arrangement
To create his system of classification Melvil Dewey imagined how a caveman would view the world and asked himself a series of questions. This became the framework for the ten Dewey classes that help keep information about the same topic shelved together.
Who am I?
100 Philosophy and psychology
How man thinks about himself
Who made me?
200 Religion and Mythology
Man thinks about God
Ancient myths and modern practices
Who is the man in the next cave?
300 Social Science
Man thinks about other people.
How does man get along with others in a family or community? What we need to make communities work; “community helpers"; police and fire departments...
How can I make that man understand me?
400 Language
Man learns to communicate with others through words.
Dictionaries, word and phrase origins, sign language, parts of speech.
How can I understand nature and the world around me?500 Natural Science
Man learns to understand nature on the land, in the sea, and in the sky.
Experiments; math; astronomy; chemistry; geology; weather; seasons; fossils; habitats; plants and animals.
How can I use what I know about nature?
600 Applied Science and Useful Arts - Technology
Primitive men learned about fire and how to make weapons. Man through the ages learned about the wheel, medicine, ...and how to make all the things we use.
Inventions; medicine; human body; cars; trucks; ships; air planes; gardening; cooking; manufacturing; construction; pets.
How can I enjoy my leisure time?
700 Fine Art and Recreation
By this time, primitive man had more time to do things he enjoyed. He learned how to paint pictures and to create music. He also learned how to dance and play games.
Architecture; drawing; painting; crafts; music; jokes and riddles; sports.
How can I give my children a record of man's heroic deeds?
800 Literature
Man became a storyteller. He created sagas, fables, epic poetry, and plays about his ancestors and the people he knew. Later he put these into writing for all people to read.
Poetry and plays.
How can I leave a record for men of the future?
900 Geography, History and Biography
So man began to write about events that had occurred everywhere and about people who had participated in these events.
World history; countries of the world; Native Americans; biographies (92)
000 General Works
... bibliographies, books about books, and...reference books.

In looking at the questions, I was struck by how man-centered this system is and how much it reminded me of the questions found in our children's catechism. All of the questions posed by Mr. Dewey are answered in one Book, God's Perfect Library, the Bible.

I do not know if this story is accurate, but it was all over the place on sites recommended to librarians and teachers. The system works well enough, it's just the foundation for it that bothers me.

The librarian also cautioned the children not to believe everything they read on the Web because so much is biased...implying that the books in her library contained only truths. Just because someone types something doesn't make it so applies equally to computers and books.

Points to Ponder

There was an insert in my newspaper today that had interesting things in it. One sidebar had this little blurb called "Things to Ponder." (The author is not named, just so you know it wasn't me.)

1. Isn't making a smoking section in a restuarant like making a urinating section in a swimming pool?
2. If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
3. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
4. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
5. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Ponder away!

Book Report

This week was a writing week for all the kids in English. Trevor has to write a historical fiction, Trent has to write a tall tale and Heather has to write a book report. Trevor has chosen the "historical event" of the blizzard of 1978 as his starting point, practically ancient history to him. Trent is writing the story of Sneaky Snake, the spy who captures bank robbers. Heather is doing a book report on Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre." An ambitious choice for a seven year old, I think.

The revising, proofreading and final drafts will be done next week. The stress these writing projects puts on me is almost more than I can bear. Now I know how my mom felt when I expressed so much frustration at writing papers throughout high school. How I ended up an English major is certainly a wonder.

I was reminded of a special song as I encouraged each child in his/her writing and I have included it here for your enjoyment.



I love this song! I was first exposed to it 40 years ago, this week! Dad took me to the stage version of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" in Cleveland, OH, on my third birthday. Mom was amazed that I still have a memory of this event.

I played the song for the kids and asked them which character they believed they were most like...I definitely have my opinion of which ones they are. To all my literary friends out there in bloggerland I pose this question, "Which character are you?" Send me your comments.