If You Give a Kid a Bottle of Ketchup

If you give a kid a ketchup bottle, he will swing it around trying to use centrifugal force to get the ketchup to the business end of the bottle.
The lid will not likely withstand the pressure and will open ever so slightly allowing ketchup to splatter on the ceiling, walls, floors and furnishings.
The kid will be dramatically repentant and offer his assistance to clean the mess.
Said kid will not be able to reach most of it and the mom will have to wash the ceiling and the walls; however, the stains will have already set into the flat white ceiling paint by the time she figures out which cleaning product is appropriate to use.
She will not notice the drip of ketchup running down the front of Daddy’s chair and will add embellishment to her jean-clad leg as she climbs up to wipe the ceiling.
She will denounce the kid for having food in the living room in the first place.
The kid will remind the mom that he was not going to eat it there, and by the way, she was the one who showed him how to get the ketchup to the opening in the first place.
The mom will remind the kid that she advised him not to do this trick in the living room just the day before.
The mom will lament that the house is for sale and an open house is scheduled for four days hence and there is already a long list of tasks awaiting her attention.
The kid will remember that he still hasn’t had his lunch and will need some ketchup to go with it.
The mom will point out that grocery shopping day is Monday, not Wednesday, and if he didn’t feel the daily need to consume it in such large quantities, there might have been some left over even after the Extreme Makeover he has just completed on the living room.
Then the mom will think about what could have happened had she given the kid a fuller ketchup bottle and she will think twice about buying ketchup next Monday.